No Boys Allowed Album Review

Intro: After listening to Keri Hilson protest about female empowerment during the heavy promotional train that makes up her No Boys Allowed, I decided go undercover: I tucked my penis, put on my Wendy William’s wig by borrowing Rihanna’s flaming red hair and slip into my Dèreon freak ‘em dress to see what Ms. Keri, baby was talking about…

1. “Buyou (By You)” which features a solid rap verse from highly anticipated Roc-Nation rapper J. Cole, opens up the album with a New Orleans Creole/Martin Gras party feel. It’s a cute track. This is Keri Hilson’s version of TLC’s “No Scrubs” crashed into Destiny’s Child ”Bills, Bills, Bills”/”Independent Women” except with a more club friendly beat. In exchange for “can you pay my bills?” and “throw yo’ hands up at me,” Keri coos “I don’t need a broke boy tryna holla…all my girls, fly girls get money.” In a nutshell, it talks about owing ones on own property instead of being a moocher of a successful woman.

2. Next is the ice cream truck jingle “Pretty Girl Bop.” Containing a thumpy Hip-Hop bass line that goes against a bouncy R&B production, the hook to the song is just utterly infectious yet tirelessly repetitive. However, I would take this over that screechy mess that makes up “Breaking Point” (we’ll get to that later…). The lyrical concept speaks of a boast personality, one that is very vain and silly. The visual is even more confusing as Hilson iminates or pays homages to past acts who have paved the way for her current success. *blinks aimlessly*

3. The controversial “The Way You Love Me” has to be the most annoying song I’ve ever hear (see the coochie poppin’ and a room full of D-Listers tryna revive their appearances here: http://youtu.be/SUAl1H9_-G0). It’s loud and rambunctious and it seems to me as Keri tried to do too much with voice, like she’s trying to over sing on the production. Rick Ross’s little verse doesn’t add anything to redeem this song; he coulda kept those whack ass lyrics under his titty meat. Overall, if you want to get mad and throw dishes, listen to this because it sounds dangerously close to Bey-Jesus’s “Ring The Alarm.”

4. To redeem herself for that mosh pit mess in the making, “Bahm, Bahm *pronounced “Bam” with a Jamaican accent* (Do It Once Again)” winds things down with its reggae ton beat. Keri manages to keep her squawky voice grounded which works in her favor. I really, really love this song. I often find myself gettin’ my Sharika on (hip roll, belly waving and booty poppin’). Without skipping a beat, the track ends with a hidden interlude entitled “I Want You.” I really like interludes especially if they’re musically inclined, but if it’s just a skit where the artist tends to blab about nothing, I tend to press the NEXT button within the first 3 seconds. The key to a great interlude is to keep everything musically copacetic without ruining the mood. Hilson does just that as a perfect segue to carry the listener over to her musical Casanova, Hits Brown.

5. “One Night Stand” finds Keri Hilson intertwined in a musical rendezvous with Chris Brown as they take their “Superhuman” relationship a little further. I love to hear these two collaborate on any song, be it a romantic ballad or a sensual baby making music like this joint right here. This song just sends me over…Hdydkcrjjoecftb gbvphdeycbjs yfsqy Ty yinvsdddrtv<——See, what I mean? SMH!

6. “Loose Control” features Nelly and honestly, in terms of melodic production, reminds me of a alternative version to Rihanna’s current chart topper “What’s My Name?” Even with their similarities, Keri ultimately slays and gets points for lyrical comprehensiveness because Lawd knows I have no idea what Rihanna is trying convey in the inconceivable “What’s My Name?”. Sorry, Rihanna. *hands back red wig…puts blonde wig on*

7. After shaking, winding and loosing control, all hearts are quickly stirred in the direction of heartache with the dispiriting interlude “Let Me Down” that marches us into the militant love story, “Toy Solider.” “Toy Solider” embarks on a emotional trail of finding out that your significant other’s true feelings of high hopes and love is nothing more than just mere child’s play; hence, a love based on plastic and rubber will not endure much damage without cracking. This song is by far the diamond on No Boys Allowed, especially for it to be a ballad. Because not too many ballads can resonate with people by conveying true emotion.

8. The reminiscent doo-wop “Breaking Point” had women claiming a newfound sense of anti-tolerance and taking to Facebook and Twitter about how their “love has a limit” and how they’re about to reach a breaking point in their lives. Bitch, please. Who are you trying to fool? *in my Sasha Fierce British accent* Love knows no bounds. This song had me rolling my eyes. And not to mention the vocal delivery, it was unbearable. Keri sounded like someone had her in a chokehold while she tried to sing out every line with each passing breathe she was getting deprived from. Whatever record executive approved this song to be the lead single deserves to be fired. “Breaking Point” should have never been released as the lead single, if a single at all. It should been a throwaway. I can’t…

9. Onto “Beautiful Mistake.” This song should have been entitled “It Is What It Is (Foolery Mistake),” let’s just call it what it is, Ms. Keri, no shade. This song is a flyin’ fool. The lyrics are romantically lukewarm, as she sings about overstaying in a sexual tryst. Timbaland’s techno pop production is just too gummy for my liking and doesn’t inject that Hip-Hop flava that he adds to all his songs. Need I say more about that little lyrical injection she sampled by “Reunited And It Feel So Good.” Girl…!

10. “Gimme What I Want” is Timbaland’s best mixture of Hip-Hop Techno Pop elements. In this song, Hilson develops a take charge attitude and directs any man who wants her to give her desires.

11. “All The Boys” is the final track to a jungle hood experience as it concludes the album with a sweet kiss off of “Killa Keri’s” final days as a bachelorette. With a minty vocal delivery, the love stunned beauty recounts her past mishaps and ultimately ends up discovering true love. Another great contemporary love song.

12. The remix to “Pretty Girl Rock” doesn’t do anything but carry the repetitive lyrics and success of the original song to the remix.Kooky Kanye is featured, but he doesn’t add anything special.

13. Unless you copped the deluxe edition of No Boys Allowed, “Hustler” and “So Good” are other two good songs you should check out. “Lie To Me,” “It Won’t Be Long,” “Fearless,” and “Pass Me By” are nothing more than Timbaland’s futuristic Hip Pop production which really doesn’t gel with the rest of the album and falter.

Conclusion: After making mental comparisons with past women of the industry who once challenged men to stand up and create self improvements while boldly motivating women to possess their uniqueness and independence (Chaka Khan, TLC, Lauryn Hill, Destiny’s Child, Christina Aguilera…), Keri Hilson’s work here isn’t anything revolutionary. Sure there are some radio friendly tracks that will appease the fans, but there’s nothing substantial. “Toy Solider” and “All The Boys” prove to be diamonds in the rough, but the rest of the material just doesn’t gel with the overall theme of feminism and empowerment. No Boys Allowed is subtly inspiring. Though Ms. Hilson preaches about knowing your limit when you’re in love and regaining your identity after a controlling or worthless relationship, there’s no evidence about owning yourself. And for an album title so bold faced, how come did over 5 guys come over to play in Keri baby’s playpen? Whore! :-3

My Picks (Check ‘Em Out): “Buyou,” “Bahm, Bahm (Do It Once Again),” “One Night Stand,” “Loose Control,” “Toy Solider,” “Gimme What I Want,” “All The Boys,” and “Hustler.”

Skip It (Bafoolery): “The Way You Love Me,” “Pretty Girl Rock,” “Breaking Point,” and “Beautiful Mistake,”